


Brick by Brick

by LazyAdmiral



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Gen, Infant Death, Postpartum Depression, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-01
Updated: 2017-05-01
Packaged: 2018-10-26 10:23:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10784934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LazyAdmiral/pseuds/LazyAdmiral
Summary: Twins ran in the Walker side of the family.~A very short, slightly rambly one-shot on my thoughts about Leandra and that first year on the run after leaving Kirkwall.





	Brick by Brick

Twins ran in the Walker side of the family. Bethann had had a twin, a brother who had inherited his family’s wealth and legacy while his more ambitious sister had no choice but to seek her fortune in marriage and later, in children who might marry up the social ladder. It skipped a generation, or so Leandra was told, although it hadn’t mattered – despite the handful of years between them, she and Gamlen had grown up as close as a sister and brother could be.

Funny how a few months could feel like a lifetime ago.

Garrett and Marian arrived a month early, some two weeks after Wintersend in a run-down shepherd’s hut a mile out of Denerim. There had been no midwife – not one they could trust, at least – and Malcolm’s magic had never leant itself to healing. For a moment she wondered if the Maker would have one final irony, to have let their small family flee to safety only to crumble before it began.

And then there they were. They were both pale and small and utterly, utterly beautiful, with Leandra’s bright eyes and Malcolm’s dark hair. Malcolm’s tired face shone with undisguised adoration as he held them for her to see, her strength utterly gone, and despite the aches that lingered, Leandra had fallen into dreamless slumber, a smile on her lips as she listened to her love murmur words of hope and freedom and everything their little girl and boy would grow up to see.

Marian lived three days. Too tiny, too frail, the Ferelden winters took their due.

In those early months, she looked down at the dark head struggling to feed at her breast and wondered if this time next week she would be building another tiny pyre. Garrett was skinny for his age, grew too slowly, and Leandra’s body produced too little milk – selfishly hoarding what paltry resources it had to sustain itself rather than the infant life in her arms. Every cough, every cry became a brick in a wall she built around her heart, protection against what seemed inevitable.

Winter melted to spring. Malcolm found work as a farm hand and Leandra took on odd jobs – sewing and making the herbal tinctures she’d learned from her governess to sell at market. The nights they went to bed hungry became fewer and still she waited for the morning she woke to find a cot grown cold and still. By the time it became clear that Garrett was in no more danger than any child, he was already toddling around after his father, curious and eager and brave.

Quietly, Leandra mourned her children – the daughter she never knew, and the son she had been too afraid to love.

**Author's Note:**

> One of my headcanons for Leandra is that part of the reason she’s so distant with the protagonist Hawke is because of the circumstances around their birth. I think it’s important to remember Leandra was already pregnant with Hawke when she and Malcolm fled to Ferelden (according to WoT2 at least) and I imagine that first year or so on the run was pretty tough on a pair of penniless lovers trying to keep under the radar. I’m really attached to the idea that early on, Leandra managed to convince herself she was going to lose Hawke (through a combination of circumstances and undiagnosed post-partum depression) and tried to brace herself for the loss by closing herself off. It also ties into why I think she’s so protective of and seemingly more emotionally attached to Bethany and Carver later on.


End file.
